I think all humans; not just manic humans, need a manageable framework to make good decisions. In our home, if we must HALT if we are…
It may sound simple, but if you have ever regretted firing off that heated email, or posted something you later cringe over; I assure you, this will help.
If you are feeling one of these four emotions; do not make a big decision.
If you are feeling more than one of these emotions; do not make a single decision! You will regret it!
Let me elaborate
When we are hurt, we react to situations that we should respond to. Reaction comes from a place of defensiveness, response comes from a place of decision. If your boss wounds your ego, you want to wound them back, right? There is an offence, and we want to enact revenge. The problem is, it never works.
You are created to be self-controlled and in charge of your own emotions. Reacting out of hurt may satisfy momentarily, but will always cost you in the long run.
Oh Anger! You are like that drunk uncle! Always hanging around, popping your head up where you are least wanted. Anger is rarely a friend to temperate decisions. When you are angry, you are not in the headspace to make a big call. Not all anger is wrong. Like Jesus, we should be angry at injustice and oppression; but you wouldn’t be reading this if you needed help with righteous anger.
Truthfully, my biggest regrets have come by making decisions poisoned by anger…
It took time to develop, but once I learnt to HALT, life got a whole lot better.
By way of mention, that super beast hangar (hungry anger) fits here…
Loneliness is a horrible foundation for sound decision making. You will sleep with somebody you shouldn’t sleep with, visit places you shouldn’t visit, eat things you shouldn’t eat, and avoid things that are good for you. Although loneliness can be actual, or perceived; it is the perception of being alone and isolated that matters most to an individual mental health.
Loneliness is horrible, I get that, but making decisions from a place of loneliness will eventually result in more loneliness.
Remember letting the kids watch an inappropriate movie because you needed a nap?
Remember calling in sick because you wanted to sleep in?
Remember biting your spouse’s head off for nothing, after binging Netflix all night?
That is why you do not make decisions while tired. Even if you are a new parent, and always tired, do not make big decisions while fatigued. Most people have heard the phrase “sleep on it.” Those 3 words could be the greatest advice known to humanity.
Countless regrets can be avoided by a good night’s sleep…
When you forget to HALT, and react from a place of brokenness.
Peace is stolen
Depression is more likely
Mental illness grows stronger
Conversely, when we learn to HALT
Anxiety is broken
Mental health gets stronger
With all the complexity of mental health, this simple process has helped be greatly! I hope it helps you too!
In Jesus and Mental Health